


The Sun's Gone to Hell

by suchanadorer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchanadorer/pseuds/suchanadorer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel finds Lucifer at Elysian Fields immediately after Gabriel's death, and comforts him as best he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sun's Gone to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. 
> 
> I just really like grace and kissing.

The acrid stench of burned wings still hangs in the air. There is a flutter of wings behind Lucifer but his eyes stay fixed on the empty vessel lying on the floor. Castiel steps to his side and takes in the scene before him: Gabriel’s wings thrown wide across the floor, his blade buried in his stomach, and blood on Lucifer’s hands and clothes.

“What happened?” Castiel whispers, although it isn’t hard to guess.

Lucifer sniffs. It’s a thick, undignified sound, and Castiel turns away from Gabriel to look at him. Lucifer’s eyes shine with tears. He draws in another shaky breath and a tear breaks free to roll down his cheek, drawing a line through the blood splattered there. Not matter how necessary it may have been, Lucifer is ashamed of what he’s done and Castiel’s presence only intensifies his pain. He knows the memories of him that Castiel has, and Lucifer does not want him to witness him now, at his lowest, doing the one thing he had fought so hard to avoid.

Castiel saw the carnage in the rest of the hotel when he arrived here looking for Lucifer. He knows that all the blood on Lucifer’s hands is not Gabriel’s. He’s not surprised by the slaughter, but he is surprised by the violence of it. Lucifer is powerful enough to kill bloodlessly, and the thought that he had reveled in it disturbs Castiel more than a little.

But it is obvious from his expression that Lucifer took no joy in Gabriel's death.

“He was going to kill me,” Lucifer finally offers in a tiny voice. He hasn’t stopped staring at Gabriel’s body, not even after Castiel came into the room. Castiel wasn’t sure Lucifer even knew he was there until he started to speak. “He said he’d kill Michael, too. I couldn’t... I didn’t want to.”

Castiel moves to stand before him, catching Lucifer by the shoulders as he sinks to the ground. Castiel follows until they are kneeling in front of each other. He’s acutely aware of the bodies that litter the hotel room, but he’s also sure that he’s safe here. His greatest concern is for Lucifer himself as he sags forward, resting his head on Castiel’s shoulder and clutching at the lapels of his coat. He trembling, barely in control of his vessel.

Between Lucifer’s sobs, Castiel catches words and he pieces together what happened. Gabriel had refused to side with either of his brothers, and Lucifer had acted in self-defense. He loved his brother, and this was not how he had wanted this to end.

Lucifer’s shame over what he’s done gives way to grief so deep that there’s no room for anything else. Even the ever-present rage he feels is dimmed as he tries to explain to Castiel, as if talking about it could bring his little brother back. But this confession offers him no hope of forgiveness.

Castiel pushes gently at Lucifer until he’s sitting back far enough for Castiel to look him in the eyes and meet the raw agony there. Castiel reaches out gently to wipe tears and sticky blood from Lucifer’s cheeks. Lucifer watches his face with a desperate sort of hope, as if this simple gesture can take with it all the pain and loss that fills him now.

Castiel holds Lucifer’s face in his hands. He seems so heavy now, as if he’d collapse were it not for Castiel holding him up. He can’t fix this for Lucifer. Gabriel is dead, and there is nothing that can be done for that, but it breaks Castiel’s heart to see someone so powerful and glorious in such a state. This war will make victims of them all.

He kisses Lucifer. It’s a strange impulse. Castiel doesn’t want to leave him, but he can’t keep watching Lucifer’s eyes search his face as if the key to his redemption lies somewhere in the creases and stubble of Jimmy’s complexion. So he brings them together instead, closing his eyes and pressing his lips to the wet pout of Lucifer’s lower lip. There is a drop of blood there. Castiel can taste it when he opens his mouth just slightly. The blood of a god tastes surprisingly similar to the iron tang he’s grown accustomed to in his vessel.

At first Lucifer stills. Castiel is sure he can still feel Lucifer’s eyes watching him. He scoots closer, tilting Lucifer’s head up now that he has a slight height advantage with both of them on their knees. He keeps one hand on Lucifer’s cheek and slips the other around to the base of his skull, pushing his fingers into Lucifer’s hair.

Lucifer whimpers, and Castiel thinks that maybe he’s wrong, that this wasn’t what Lucifer needed, but then the temperature in the room drops and Castiel is struck by Lucifer’s grace. It’s cold and sharp and ragged, like ice on a slowly moving river, but under the initial shock of it Castiel can feel how broken Lucifer is, how badly he needs this contact and comfort.

Castiel wonders if his own fading grace feels similar, or if perhaps it's now too weak to offer any comfort at all. He opens his mouth and pushes back at the same time. He’s not sure if the physical contact is of any interest to Lucifer, but Castiel is connected to his vessel in a way that Lucifer isn’t, and the kiss makes the touch of grace feel even stronger. Then Lucifer returns the kiss, licking tentatively into Castiel’s mouth just as Castiel had only moments before.

Lucifer’s hands move from Castiel’s lapels down the front of his body. He slides them under Castiel’s coat to wrap his arms around Castiel’s waist and pull him closer.

Castiel follows, crawling until his knee is between Lucifer’s thighs and their chests are pressed together. He is still taller than Lucifer in his position but Lucifer’s grace is huge, expanding to fill the room until the chandeliers vibrate with the power of it. The light beyond Castiel’s eyelids is brilliant. He pushes back against Lucifer’s grace with his own, and he lets Lucifer kiss him as roughly and deeply as he can bear. Castiel will take on as much of Lucifer’s pain as he can, until all that is left is the power and glory that an archangel should have.

Castiel can feel Lucifer’s anguish, his guilt over killing his brother, even his fear over the battle that lies before him. He feels longing for Sam, longing for Michael. Longing for the love of their Father. Castiel strokes and soothes as best he can, fitting the tattered ends of their grace together to form something whole that is stronger than either of them are when they’re apart. He hears a high whine catch in Lucifer’s throat and he breaks the kiss, pulling him into a tight embrace instead. Neither of them had any idea what to do with their mouths, but the actual kiss was secondary to the connection of grace around them.

“It’s all right, brother,” he murmurs, petting Lucifer’s hair and working grace against grace, trying to wipe clean all the wounds that Lucifer has built up during his lifetime in the cage. “Let me help you, love,” he whispers again and again.

Lucifer feels more than any other angel Castiel has ever known. It is overwhelming to experience, even as an observer. He can not imagine what it must be like for Lucifer himself. Castiel thinks that the Host would probably benefit from this freedom, but he also knows that they will never be interested. Duty and love for their Father is the rock that they cling to, forever, determined to never let go and see where the current carries them.


End file.
